After a long, arduous day working at some thankless, corporate job throwing chihuahuas at a dart board (or whatever it is you do), it’s nice to head down to The Gill-d Hall and unwind. “The Gill-d Hall” is a place to briefly reflect on such all-important topics as fast food, old cartoons, various distinct odors, spandex pants, sporks, and all of life’s other intricacies. Click on a link to read one of the entries. New musings will be added frequently, so check back often.
Subway: Subliminal Mind Control in Action
The psychological phenomenon that is anathema to other fast food franchises
Rejected Hannah Barbara Ideas
Who wouldn’t want to watch The Flatulent Wilma Flintstone?
PBS + The Internet = Glorious Artistry
Is there anything the Internet can’t corrupt?
Fast Food Dominance
A&W must not be allowed to perish!
Century Link and Eternal Damnation
A tale of fire, brimstone, and customer service.
The Realignment of the Sturgeon-Verse
Worlds will live, worlds will die, and I’ll still be putting weird stuff on the Internet.
Gerbils: Cannibalistic, Incestuous Cretin of the Pet World
Thinking about buying gerbils for your kids? Brace yourself…
Elmo’s Hostile Takeover
After the coup, it truly became Elmo’s World.
The Black Jelly Bean Phenomenon
The black jelly beans are spreading. Oh, are they spreading.
It’s time to strike back!
Return of the Fuzzy Darkness
Must humanity once again do battle with the demonic forces of Toys “R” Us?
The ketchup tyrants must be stopped!
More Glorious Beards
Ah, Google Images, what can’t you do?
When will we learn to respect our hallowed snack foods!
Ferrets, Cheese, and Human Rights
A piece I wrote in college explaining my political philosophy and beliefs about human rights.
The Easter Bunny
You think Santa Claus is weird?
They Grow Up So Fast
A touching story of growing up, family bonds, and giant aliens.
The Homicidal Wilma Flintstone
A somber discussion of yabba-dabba-death.
The Firefighters and Puppies Fund
What do you mean, this post is political?! Don’t be ridiculous!
He isn’t going to live forever, you know.
Anyone else long for the days of Taft and his marvelous stache?
The Disturbing World of Children’s Cereal Mascots: Part 2
Lucky Charms! They’re magically totalitarian!
The Disturbing World of Children’s Cereal Mascots: Part 1
It’s time to put these sugar-coated douchebags in their place!
Furby: Dark god of the Nineties
The eyes…the eyes won’t stop following me…
Scooby Doo and its Bizarre Implications
So your idea of a good time is dressing up in a diving suit, rubbing yourself with phosphorous, and jumping out of bushes to scare teenagers?…okay, then.
I hope this explanation of the rigid Skittles caste system will open your eyes to candy oppression.
The True Meaning Behind Bob and the Cyber Llama
A comment that totally wasn’t spam has opened my eyes to the central theme of Bob and the Cyber Llama.
Why Betty Boop will Dumbfound Historians
A little speculation on how we’ll go down in history.
A Moment of Silence for Burger King’s Chicken Fries
The fast food world is a place of great triumph and tragedy. This is the latter.